Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Bill Maher - American Apologies

A brilliant new article from Bill Maher on:


New Rule: If Mitt Romney, Karl Rove and Sarah Palin all think America has never done anything wrong, we must be doing something wrong. Look at them: an empty suit, an empty heart and an empty head. It looks like the news team on Good Morning Hell. And what they've been competing about lately is who would not apologize the most. America is infallible, and apologies are horrible things that must never, ever be given. Except by me when I make a joke about the Pope. "We're perfect -- deal with it," is their new handshake. But I say, what's wrong with America occasionally saying, "I'm sorry"? Because these are the three sorriest white people I've ever seen.

If in your eyes America can do no wrong, you should really look into Lasik surgery. There's the rational, mature assessment of our country: that it's a great nation -- especially if you like fried foods -- but it also has its faults. And then there's the Republican view: that it's perfect and pure in every way and it's always right all the time, just like Leviticus and Ronald Reagan.

If the founders were alive today, Republicans would be giving them shit because the Preamble to the Constitution says, "In order to form a more perfect union? Hello, it's already perfect! Why are you suggesting American apologetics, Ben Franklin?"

One of the things that makes Republicans furious about our current president is their idea that Obama is always apologizing for America's biggest mistakes. Unlike President Bush. Who was one of America's biggest mistakes.

In his first week as president, Obama did an interview with Arab TV in which he said, "We sometimes make mistakes. We have not been perfect." Thought crime! And then he went to Cairo and violated one of those absolute eternal rules the Right Wing is always making up out of thin air: "The president must never apologize on foreign soil. Lest our allies begin to doubt that we're assholes. "

But what did Obama actually say to make Karl Rove's head explode and the popcorn fly out? Cover your children's ears: When he was asked if he believed in American exceptionalism, he said he did, the same way "the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks in Greek exceptionalism." Yes, our so-called president actually said people in other countries might like their countries better. I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun.

In her farewell speech -- if only -- Sarah Palin kept telling us "how she's wired." Now I'm not a doctor, or an electrician -- but this is faulty wiring, this worldview that, in her words, "we should never apologize for our country." Really? Never? Not for slavery? Or Japanese internment camps, or if we tortured the wrong guy at Guantanamo? The Indians? Nothing, Sarah? "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? Shouldn't John McCain apologize for... you?

When did intractability become a virtue? Mitt Romney's new book is called No Apology: The Case For American Greatness. You can find it at Borders, in the "Suck-Up" section. It's such a perfect title, combining paranoia with arrogance: "No one has yet asked me to apologize but, if someone ever does, fuck them."

Conservatives think apologizing is a sign of weakness. It's what liberal pussies do, when they're not busy driving electric cars and feeling empathy. When in fact it's the weak and the scared who are too insecure to apologize. Apologies are actually a sign of strength. That's why six-year-olds hate them.

In Rwanda, after a genocide that killed a million people, they set up special courts where people stood up and said, "Hey, sorry I macheted your entire family. My bad." And believe it or not, in most cases, that was enough. That's the power of an apology. A recent study reveals that doctors who are willing to apologize to patients for their mistakes are sued for malpractice about half as much as doctors who aren't willing to apologize.

Apologies can do great things, and they can enable great things. And if you still don't believe me, I have three words for you: make-up sex.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, Fridays at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time on HBO. Guests on this week's program include Jay Leno, Chuck Todd, Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Sam Harris and Jeremy Scahill.

Follow Bill Maher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/billmaher


This should balance views a bit. I'm a bit disappointed with Bill Maher to be honest. However like I said, he's a politician, and they are like snakes. Plus I liked his article above, and not the video. Maybe he's confused. Did he complete his rehab course?


soreal said...

you say something, but you do something else
there is nothing bill maher can say that can rectify my opinion about him, even if he comes our as a righteous person as he sounds in this article...

Anonymous said...

I agree with the 1st poster. The man can write a decent article, and sometimes his 1/2 baked ramblings on TV make sense. And at other times he's just a very san excuse for a human.

That being said this is refreshing. An American who knows that America isnt perfect. Because most have this God complex, I cann it the Yankee Syndrome. (Americans from the south have a different issue all together, the we lost the civil war but will "rise up again" syndrome.

BuJassem said...

hi Soreal.. good to see you again.. so what is your opinion about Bill Maher? I just heard about the guy two days ago and thought it was a good article from an american, let alone an american politician.

I think personally that he makes a good comedian. as for his politics, i don't have that much info on it, and hence not much of an opinion.

Dubai Jazz said...

Hey Bu Jassem,

Bill Maher is a good stand-up comedian. He also has a decent talk show (real time with Bill Maher) and he picks his guest carefully. He's obviously a liberal.

I have few qualms with him though, he used to host a talk show called 'politically incorrect' on, I think, CBS right after 9/11 and his show cheered then for the war in Afghanistan and the hostile language towards Arabs and Muslims. It's interesting how liberals in the west would sometime change tracks..... besides, if anyone should apologize, it should be the American admin. Least for the iraq war.

BuJassem said...

wow DJ you know more about bill than me.. i just got this article a few days ago and thought it was good.. i am not in a position to comment too much on the authour.. this post was purely on the article..

btw never trust politicians.. it's a well known fact!

thanks for visiting.. i think you'll like my next post more.

soreal said...

lets say that bill maher and the likes are there to make the americans who start to think about these issues feel good about them selves

check ur mail

rosh said...

Bill Maher is representative of liberal loonies and hippies across the US of A. They love to stretch (read sensationalize) Republican, Libertarian and /or Middle of the road views. I'm more a Libertarian / Middle of the road, and I have plenty of American born raised, friends from the 'South' and the 'Mid West'. Trust me, there's much humility -- and certainly are far more apologetic than the liberal / hippie looney tunes we see around NYC, the epicenter of liberal & hippie mafia!

If you'd hope to experience the true Americans - and America, I think you need to live with those from the South and the Mid West. True, they maybe ignorant to city folks, not as globally aware, quite Sarah Palin-ish / GWB-ish, and love bacon lol :) However, an open, sincere dialogue is what you shall need to connect through to them.

I say all the above purely from experiences. I've been quite fortunate to have experienced the 'real' America - sometimes also referred to as the 'middle' America. And there is a lot of heart, simplicity and genuinity there. They are very human, humble and accepting to most foreigners. I've never felt more welcome and accepted -- nor experienced such simplicity. Of course, there are the bad and the crazies - but then again, that's what makes them human as a whole. Often what the world gets to see (read Britney Spears / Southern trash/ KKK) is not a true picture, and in some ways similar to the distorted views about our part of the world.

So yeah, screw Maher. He is playing to the liberal / hippie crowd.

rosh said...

Hmmm..ABIT, often your views / thoughts (at least those I've gathered off at UAECB etc) are quite similar to those of the South! :)

BuJassem said...

guys thanks for your comments... soreal, thanks for your e-mail.. and Mr Rosh/ABIT.. it's always entertaining and educational.

Funny coz I forwarded the last youtube clip to my pro-Maher american friend and she was really surprised about this. However the man is obviously very talented in PR and communcations (and spin), and we all know how smart the average american is.

i bray for beace.