Ben Ali in the air

This is infinitely funny!!! Especially the Egyptian reaction!

Historical Tweets - D-Day

This just cracked me up!!!

page reference



Please click to enlarge. (Wish most things worked like that, hihi)

IDF Internet Troll

Amazing!

http://www.kabobfest.com/2010/04/11-signs-of-an-idf-internet-troll.html

I won't copy/paste anything here except the hilarious troll picture.. so please click on the article and enjoy!

Thanks Abu al Kabab!

She's got balls, and a finger!

For more details:

http://htmlgiant.com/web-hype/i-love-this-woman/

Israel supermarket spoof parodies Dubai killing

From the famous BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8561247.stm

An Israeli supermarket chain is using a spoof of surveillance footage showing the alleged assassins of a Hamas commander in a television advert.

The advert's fake grainy surveillance footage shows actors wearing elaborate disguises.




Dubai police released footage they said showed the assassins of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, some dressed for tennis, as they followed him through his hotel.

Israel's secret service is widely suspected of being behind the killing.

But the government says there is not enough proof that its agents were involved.

In the advert for Mahsanei Kimat Hinam shops, disguised customers prowl the supermarket's aisles and an actress wearing a wide-brimmed hat says she: "cannot admit to anything". The final line is: "We offer killer prices."

Advertising executive Sefi Shaked said the campaign was inspired by the original footage.

"We were fascinated by the technique of using surveillance cameras instead of high-production cameras, and the latest events in Dubai have given us a great opportunity," he said.

"It's a parody, a take-off of what happened in Dubai. All the Israeli television comedy shows have done it, so why shouldn't we?" he added.



Can you spot the difference between both pictures?

Who said Israelis can't be funny?

PS: BBC bias is evident, they used the word "killing" instead of "assassination" in their headline. However, this is another matter altogether.

Touring Doha

As you know my dear readers, I am a big fan of motorbikes.
Here's a recent clip showing what I've been up to during my last visit to Doha.
Needless to say, kids, do not do this at home (or on the streets)!



It appears that this was filmed during a bad-hair-night! hahahaha

Pulling the Tablecloth

I loved this clip.. thanks to my supplier/agent :)

I wouldn't watch it past 45secs!

Jordanian Bedu

Jo-Bedu or http://jo-bedu.com/ have been kindly introduced to me by the lovely Roba at itoot. They have a cracking collection of t-shirts, and if you're in Amman it's definitely worth paying them a visit.

Here's a selection of their work, you can get more than 400+ pictures on their facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?oid=2374355051&view=all

Enjoy!
If you're in Amman please buy me one!

Jordanian Clothing Line

This goes out to all my Jordanian friends with all my love.

iPhone Lebanon - One app at a time

The Lebanese need phones, and they need to look cool.
Hence the iPhone sells very well over there.
Now, there are a number of new apps that are designed to cater for this excessively cool people.
Click on the poster below to enlarge:



http://qifanabki.com/2010/02/21/the-iphone-app-store-comes-to-lebanon/

Stay connected in Lebanon with one of those apps.

After Tuesday..

Just read this at my buddy's blog:

Jazzical Aficionado



Just cracked me up!!

Mensa Words

Guys.. I received this list via e-mail not so long ago. It really made me laugh. It's also quite sophisticated, so my simple mind did not understand every single word. However, I hope you'll find it fun and interesting.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7.. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. (I presume you get this "Oy" reference.)

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Odds of Terrorism!

Following the crazy news of an African man wanting to blow up his balls for Christmas, I found this interesting and informative poster below. Obviously bear in mind it's "targeted" at an American audience :)

Source:

www.boingboing.net



(please click on picture to view in the correct size)

For My Arab Readers

A Homsi Joke...

(sorry non-Arab readers, this is very hard to translate, while retaining funnyness, into English)

في مرّة دخّلوا حمصي على ضابط في الشرطة
قالوا له هذا الحمصي قتل 26 شخص بسيارته
الضابط ما اقتنع بالقصة راح وسأل الحمصي
قال له الضابط : كيف قتلت 26 زلمة ؟
رد عليه بكل أدب وثقة بالنفس : إسمعني ياحضرة الضابط ، أنت رجال
فهمان ومتعلم وان شاء الله راح تفهم القصة ؟
انبسط الضابط من ردّو وقالو : طيّب قلي كيف ؟
قال : شوف يا حضرة الضابط ، أنا هلأ طاير على الاتوستراد ، حلو الكلام ؟
قال الضابط : حلو .
قال الحمصي: تخيّل على الرصيف اللي على اليمين واحد قاعد،
وعلى الرصيف اللي على يساري 25 شخص قاعدين.
قال الضابط : طيب.
قال الحمصي: وعلى يسار الطريق فيه قصر أفراح ، وال25 رجّال رايحين عالصالة ،
اتّضحت الصورة؟
قال الضابط : لهلأ كلامك معقول.
قال الحمصي: فجأة وأنا ماشي طق الدولاب، والسيارة تروح يا يمين يا يسار .
قال الضابط : أي نعم.
قال الحمصي: يعني فيه خيارين ، يا أدعس الرجّال ياللي لحالو ،
يا أدعس الخمسة والعشرين رجال التانين ، صح والا أنا غلطان ؟
قال الضابط : فعل الموقف محرج .
قال الحمصي: طيب يا حضرة الضابط ، أنت رجّال عاقل وواعي ،
وانحطيت لا قدّر الله بمتل هاد الموقف ، شو راح يكون تصرّفك ؟
قال الضابط : والله أنا بدعس الرجّال ياللي لحالو مضطر.
قال الحمصي: عين العقل ، أنا فكّرت نفس تفكيرك وقلت بدعس الرجّال اللي لحالو.
قال الضابط : طيّب كيف قتلت الباقين ؟
قال الحمصي: خلّيك معي يا حضرة الضابط لا تستعجل ،
أنا قرّرت لفّ على الرجّال اللي لحالو،
بس ابن الكلب راح هرب عالجهة التانية يالي فيا الخمسة وعشرين زلمة , وأنا إلحقو وهو يهرب وما دعستو غير لحتى اندعسو الخمسة وعشرين واحد... بس جبتو بالآخر!!

A Hymen from China

Ok, what happens if you read this on a Chinese website (be careful, it is a bit explicit):

"Put artificial hymen into the vagina. It will inflate when meet warm secretion and envelop the vagina. The penis breaks the layer, and the hemachrome with the secretion lay on the penis and vulvae. It looks like the really blood very much. The effect will be better if the woman pretend feel pain and shy."

You must be thinking - WTF!

I am too... basically, you can get pretty much everything made in China at the moment. I am guessing they are marketing this product to consumers in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Egypt, and Alabama?

Here's the source of this "niche" product:

http://www.ecplaza.net/product/166925_1102142/artificial_hymen_for.html

Royal Fail put to the test

Royal Mail, or the British postal service has been tested by an intrepid young artist via a series of challenging postcards. From my experience with Royal Mail in the UK, my friends and I decided to call it Royal Fail. Anyway, have a look at the postcards below and the full article in The Independent newspaper:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/return-to-sender-artist-puts-royal-mail-to-the-test-955499.html

Click on the pics to make them larger.

Mailing a Camera

What happens when you mail a camera in the post?

Well, check this out!

http://www.alwaysusezipcode.com/?p=49

Flying Rabbis

What do you think of this:

A group of rabbis and Jewish mystics has taken to the skies over Israel, praying and blowing ceremonial horns in a plane to ward off swine flu.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8196786.stm

Each religion has their own special ways to do things. For example Muslims will say a special prayer to induce rain. However, we can do our prayers from the ground :)

Bill Maher - American Apologies

A brilliant new article from Bill Maher on:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/inew-rulei-no-shame-in-be_b_264695.html

New Rule: If Mitt Romney, Karl Rove and Sarah Palin all think America has never done anything wrong, we must be doing something wrong. Look at them: an empty suit, an empty heart and an empty head. It looks like the news team on Good Morning Hell. And what they've been competing about lately is who would not apologize the most. America is infallible, and apologies are horrible things that must never, ever be given. Except by me when I make a joke about the Pope. "We're perfect -- deal with it," is their new handshake. But I say, what's wrong with America occasionally saying, "I'm sorry"? Because these are the three sorriest white people I've ever seen.

If in your eyes America can do no wrong, you should really look into Lasik surgery. There's the rational, mature assessment of our country: that it's a great nation -- especially if you like fried foods -- but it also has its faults. And then there's the Republican view: that it's perfect and pure in every way and it's always right all the time, just like Leviticus and Ronald Reagan.

If the founders were alive today, Republicans would be giving them shit because the Preamble to the Constitution says, "In order to form a more perfect union? Hello, it's already perfect! Why are you suggesting American apologetics, Ben Franklin?"

One of the things that makes Republicans furious about our current president is their idea that Obama is always apologizing for America's biggest mistakes. Unlike President Bush. Who was one of America's biggest mistakes.

In his first week as president, Obama did an interview with Arab TV in which he said, "We sometimes make mistakes. We have not been perfect." Thought crime! And then he went to Cairo and violated one of those absolute eternal rules the Right Wing is always making up out of thin air: "The president must never apologize on foreign soil. Lest our allies begin to doubt that we're assholes. "

But what did Obama actually say to make Karl Rove's head explode and the popcorn fly out? Cover your children's ears: When he was asked if he believed in American exceptionalism, he said he did, the same way "the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks in Greek exceptionalism." Yes, our so-called president actually said people in other countries might like their countries better. I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun.

In her farewell speech -- if only -- Sarah Palin kept telling us "how she's wired." Now I'm not a doctor, or an electrician -- but this is faulty wiring, this worldview that, in her words, "we should never apologize for our country." Really? Never? Not for slavery? Or Japanese internment camps, or if we tortured the wrong guy at Guantanamo? The Indians? Nothing, Sarah? "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? Shouldn't John McCain apologize for... you?

When did intractability become a virtue? Mitt Romney's new book is called No Apology: The Case For American Greatness. You can find it at Borders, in the "Suck-Up" section. It's such a perfect title, combining paranoia with arrogance: "No one has yet asked me to apologize but, if someone ever does, fuck them."

Conservatives think apologizing is a sign of weakness. It's what liberal pussies do, when they're not busy driving electric cars and feeling empathy. When in fact it's the weak and the scared who are too insecure to apologize. Apologies are actually a sign of strength. That's why six-year-olds hate them.

In Rwanda, after a genocide that killed a million people, they set up special courts where people stood up and said, "Hey, sorry I macheted your entire family. My bad." And believe it or not, in most cases, that was enough. That's the power of an apology. A recent study reveals that doctors who are willing to apologize to patients for their mistakes are sued for malpractice about half as much as doctors who aren't willing to apologize.

Apologies can do great things, and they can enable great things. And if you still don't believe me, I have three words for you: make-up sex.


Bill Maher is the host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, Fridays at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time on HBO. Guests on this week's program include Jay Leno, Chuck Todd, Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Sam Harris and Jeremy Scahill.

Follow Bill Maher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/billmaher

EDIT DATED 26 AUG 2009



This should balance views a bit. I'm a bit disappointed with Bill Maher to be honest. However like I said, he's a politician, and they are like snakes. Plus I liked his article above, and not the video. Maybe he's confused. Did he complete his rehab course?

Damn smokers

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “A packet of 20 Marlboro Lights, please.”

(I hand him the cigarettes.)

Customer: “Wait, I don’t want these ones.

Me: “Why? They’re Marlboro Lights. Did you change your mind?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want ones with this health warning about cigarettes causing impotency.”

Me: “Ok. Do you want ’smoking harms those around you,’ or ’smoking causes testicular cancer?’”

Customer: “Give me the harms others ones.”