Showing posts with label Arabs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arabs. Show all posts

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Jordan - Morocco - Yemen



What do these countries have in common:

Jordan: Wants to join the GCC and is welcomed... Yuk! I'll take harees over mansaf any day! I hope their welcome was just a political politeness.

Morocco: Wants to copy Jordan!

Yemen: Must be tricky to meet the PM when you're urging the main honcho to retire :)

More here...
http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/gcc-studies-jordan-morocco-membership-bids-1.806159

picture

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

The Abundance of Idiocy

...and various other tales!

1- Why do very small cars drive around with all their lights? low beams and fog lights included? You only need the fog lights when it's foggy. Dumb asses. I'm also seeing big cars driving with just their fog lamps. It must be perceived by cool by those with IQ's of under 10. Or those who are overdrawn in that department. Yesterday they just baked the cake, and some guy was desert driving with just his fog lamps.. needless to say, he could barely see!

2- Why are the authorities fixated with banning speeding? When you really need to ban people who change lanes suddenly and those who do not observe lane discipline. Actually I noticed that all drivers almost have their own lane. The FJ Cruiser number 6669 from Al Ain drives at the fast lane always. The Corolla number 84204 Shj2 drives with his fog lights at the 2nd lane. The Emirates Bus dude with 31 people drives on the 3rd lane, the heavy laden truck going to Gusais drives on the 2nd lane too, but does just 60kmh. You can see this poses problems when you're doing Emirates Road speeds! Still, the authorities will penalise speeding rather than incorrect lane discipline. Dumb.

3- If your empty plot of land is surrounded by pavements and is made of 100% pure UAE silicon, and you park on it, then the RTA will automatically slap you with a fine for "parking on the pavement". But you cannot slap them with trespassing.

4- If you're Indian then you do not look before you cross the street, but you cross quickly. If you're Arab then you also do not look, but you pass much more slowly, especially in the face of oncoming traffic. Must be all that obesity and mental retardation...

5- In the UAE indicators are used to confirm a lane change. In other countries they are used to indicate before a change. We'd like to see more Indicators used and less Confirmators.

6- to be continued...

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Farah Malhass - Arab Female Bodybuilder

Jordan seems a very unlikely country to produce what might become the Arab world's first female body builder. Her name is Farah Malhass and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw her picture gracing Gulf News' front page this morning.

http://gulfnews.com/pictures/sport/jordan-s-female-body-builder-1.622719

Click on the link to see for yourself.





While I'm no fan of tattoos I'm all for Farah to persue her love for bodybuilding. What do you think? Is this amazing or gross?

Go Farah Go!

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Just a word about the economic decline of Britain

As you probably gathered, I am a big fan of the Abu Dhabi-based newspaper, The National.

Here is another brilliant article by them, written by Frank Kane.

http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091208/BUSINESS/712089946/1058&template=columnists


* Last Updated: December 08. 2009 7:08PM UAE / December 8. 2009 3:08PM GMT

I know The Economist is not everyone’s idea of a fun read, but from time to time it really does have the right stuff. “Standing still, but still standing,” was a brilliant headline in that publication the week the Dubai World story broke.

Last weekend it did it again for me by introducing me to the Arabic concept of “shamata”, which I had never encountered in my time here in the Middle East. It translates roughly the same as schadenfreude, the German word for “taking joy at another’s pain”. Why does English not have a simple one-word term for this exquisite sensation, rightly identified by Germans and Arabs as worthy of its own individual place in the dictionary?

In that vein, here is my own little burst of “shamata”. The UK chancellor of the exchequer, Alistair Darling, will today unveil his pre-budget review to the House of Commons. It is universally expected to be the most gloomy, pessimistic and downright spiteful bit of economic policymaking to come out of Britain in many a year.

The economic background is truly awful. The UK, with its overwhelming dependence on the twin pillars of property and financial services, was the worst affected of any of the big industrial nations by the credit crisis. It is still mired in recession while the US, France and Germany have pulled out.

The precise statistical evidence of Britain’s decline is well known and I do not propose to rehash the dry numerical evidence here. Soaring government, corporate and personal debt, falling property prices, rising unemployment, declining currency, shrinking exports … I could go on, but will not.

Instead, it will take just three “freakonomic” facts to illustrate the extent of the UK financial morass.

One: The Bank of England (BoE) has noticed a sharp rise in demand for £50 (Dh301) notes. Since the Lehman Brothers collapse last year, and throughout this year, the British public has been clamouring for the big pink-brown bills with a picture of Sir John Houblon, the first BoE governor, on the reverse side of the image of Her Majesty.

Conclusion: Britons have lost faith in the reliability of their banking system, once the envy of the world, and are hoarding the £50s, stuffing them in the safe or mattress to keep them from being blown by their bankers in some ill-judged investment in trashy US mortgages.

Two: Britain may lose its place among the 10 largest economies in the world by 2015. The Centre for Economics and Business Research says there is a distinct chance that in just six years Britain, fourth in 2005, will have been overtaken by China, France, Italy, Brazil, Russia and India.

Conclusion: The credit crisis will prove to be the decisive stage in a process of economic decline that has been inexorable since the end of the Second World War. The UK will be the main casualty of the shift of economic power towards Asia.

Three: HSBC, the big global bank that began life in Hong Kong and Shanghai and is returning to its Chinese roots, estimates that 85 per cent of UK property loans made over the past five years are in breach of their lending agreements.

Conclusion: The British property sector, the national totem of financial and psychological security since time immemorial, is, for the foreseeable future, bust. It cannot be the dynamo of economic recovery in the country.

I doubt that Mr Darling will raise any of these “facts” in his speech. Instead, he will announce a ferocious increase in income taxes to an eye-watering 50 per cent of earnings. He will include some equally draconian measures against bonuses for financial services executives in what has become known in the British press as “banker bashing”.

He has to raise more money to pay for the huge bailout packages to the banks he took over last year to avert a total collapse of the UK financial system. He also has to bash bankers because it is about the only popular thing he can come up with in a pre-election period. By all sensible prognoses his boss, the prime minister Gordon Brown, has only six months left at 10 Downing Street.

I had dinner in Dubai this week with an old media pal from the UK, a household name in press and TV and as staunchly British as they come. Over a glass he said gloomily: “I’m going to have to get out if they put tax up to 50p. I pay enough already and then on top of that I have to pay 17.5 per cent in sales tax whenever I buy something.

“It’s intolerable. Now, just when do you think the recovery will kick in here?”

Call it schadenfreude, call it shamata. Even revenge. Whichever, it feels great.

fkane@thenational.ae

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Hay on Wye Book Festival


"A" marks the spot!

I loved this article in the National about the Hay on Wye book festival in the UK. It seems to focus on Arab writers which is a great thing. Arabs have a great history with the written word, however, today we seem to have failed and failed miserably compared to our glorious past.

The full article:

http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091130/ART/711299980/1186/enewsletter

Excerpts from the article:

Hay, now in its 22nd year, is a literary institution. In May, more than 100,000 people braved the rain to head to the sleepy book town on the Welsh border. The festival has hosted ex-presidents, rock stars and Booker prize winners and has extended its global reach in recent years to include offshoots in Cartagena de Indias, Colombia, Segovia and Alhambra in Spain and Nairobi, Kenya. Beirut39 follows Bogotá39, which launched in the Colombian city in 2007 and identified many of the most promising rising Latin American talents, including Daniel Alarcón, Junot Díaz, Wendy Guerra, Andrés Newman and Juan Gabriel Vásquez.

Monday, 2 November 2009

For My Arab Readers

A Homsi Joke...

(sorry non-Arab readers, this is very hard to translate, while retaining funnyness, into English)

في مرّة دخّلوا حمصي على ضابط في الشرطة
قالوا له هذا الحمصي قتل 26 شخص بسيارته
الضابط ما اقتنع بالقصة راح وسأل الحمصي
قال له الضابط : كيف قتلت 26 زلمة ؟
رد عليه بكل أدب وثقة بالنفس : إسمعني ياحضرة الضابط ، أنت رجال
فهمان ومتعلم وان شاء الله راح تفهم القصة ؟
انبسط الضابط من ردّو وقالو : طيّب قلي كيف ؟
قال : شوف يا حضرة الضابط ، أنا هلأ طاير على الاتوستراد ، حلو الكلام ؟
قال الضابط : حلو .
قال الحمصي: تخيّل على الرصيف اللي على اليمين واحد قاعد،
وعلى الرصيف اللي على يساري 25 شخص قاعدين.
قال الضابط : طيب.
قال الحمصي: وعلى يسار الطريق فيه قصر أفراح ، وال25 رجّال رايحين عالصالة ،
اتّضحت الصورة؟
قال الضابط : لهلأ كلامك معقول.
قال الحمصي: فجأة وأنا ماشي طق الدولاب، والسيارة تروح يا يمين يا يسار .
قال الضابط : أي نعم.
قال الحمصي: يعني فيه خيارين ، يا أدعس الرجّال ياللي لحالو ،
يا أدعس الخمسة والعشرين رجال التانين ، صح والا أنا غلطان ؟
قال الضابط : فعل الموقف محرج .
قال الحمصي: طيب يا حضرة الضابط ، أنت رجّال عاقل وواعي ،
وانحطيت لا قدّر الله بمتل هاد الموقف ، شو راح يكون تصرّفك ؟
قال الضابط : والله أنا بدعس الرجّال ياللي لحالو مضطر.
قال الحمصي: عين العقل ، أنا فكّرت نفس تفكيرك وقلت بدعس الرجّال اللي لحالو.
قال الضابط : طيّب كيف قتلت الباقين ؟
قال الحمصي: خلّيك معي يا حضرة الضابط لا تستعجل ،
أنا قرّرت لفّ على الرجّال اللي لحالو،
بس ابن الكلب راح هرب عالجهة التانية يالي فيا الخمسة وعشرين زلمة , وأنا إلحقو وهو يهرب وما دعستو غير لحتى اندعسو الخمسة وعشرين واحد... بس جبتو بالآخر!!

Friday, 14 August 2009

No Loo6is in Google



When the word "gay" is entered into Google's translation tools, the word "luti" is returned, an Arabic equivalent of "sodomite", to the ire of gay activists.


You can find the rest here:

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-2088.html

Just reading about this makes me laugh, but of course I appreciate that some people out there take this stuff very seriously, and each to his own of course :)

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Funky Arabs

On the subject of funny videos, this might be fun!



Apologies if seen before, I think it's becoming quite popular!