...and various other tales!
1- Why do very small cars drive around with all their lights? low beams and fog lights included? You only need the fog lights when it's foggy. Dumb asses. I'm also seeing big cars driving with just their fog lamps. It must be perceived by cool by those with IQ's of under 10. Or those who are overdrawn in that department. Yesterday they just baked the cake, and some guy was desert driving with just his fog lamps.. needless to say, he could barely see!
2- Why are the authorities fixated with banning speeding? When you really need to ban people who change lanes suddenly and those who do not observe lane discipline. Actually I noticed that all drivers almost have their own lane. The FJ Cruiser number 6669 from Al Ain drives at the fast lane always. The Corolla number 84204 Shj2 drives with his fog lights at the 2nd lane. The Emirates Bus dude with 31 people drives on the 3rd lane, the heavy laden truck going to Gusais drives on the 2nd lane too, but does just 60kmh. You can see this poses problems when you're doing Emirates Road speeds! Still, the authorities will penalise speeding rather than incorrect lane discipline. Dumb.
3- If your empty plot of land is surrounded by pavements and is made of 100% pure UAE silicon, and you park on it, then the RTA will automatically slap you with a fine for "parking on the pavement". But you cannot slap them with trespassing.
4- If you're Indian then you do not look before you cross the street, but you cross quickly. If you're Arab then you also do not look, but you pass much more slowly, especially in the face of oncoming traffic. Must be all that obesity and mental retardation...
5- In the UAE indicators are used to confirm a lane change. In other countries they are used to indicate before a change. We'd like to see more Indicators used and less Confirmators.
6- to be continued...
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Thursday, 2 December 2010
The Insolence of Prosperity
Happy National Day!!!
Almost 39 years ago, our forefathers (I don't mean only genetically) drew out the first sketches of the union of states that is now the United Arab Emirates. Things pretty much went up for us from then. I know because I am a child of such a union as I was born a few years after the union. The federation was a win-win for all the states involved and was the only logical thing for us to do after the British left the region (for now, they have since returned, but this is not the post for that). I might be biased, but out of all the Gulf states, both Arab and Persian, I believe the UAE enjoyed the most benefits from this. The fact that we're starting to be noticed regionally and to an extent internationally is a proud testament of that.
I grew up in an Emirates of needs and wants. We needed so much and let's be honest, we didn't have much. They named one of the main squares in Sharjah the Kuwait Square as a thank you to the people and government of Kuwait for their help to build the UAE Educational system. When they launched Emirates, the first flight was actually to Pakistan back in 1985. Now when we think of Pakistan we think of something stupid and racist or we think of cricket or political instability. Many people still refer to construction works as "Indians". How rude! And if you ask an Emarati grandfather, he will surely refer to the local currency in the UAE as the rupee, even though the UAE Dirham has been in circulation for many many decades. What better testament to how much we owe to our brothers from the Indian subcontinent.
In fact, prosperous families used to send their children to India or Kuwait to be able to finish high school because not so long ago, most schools in the UAE were only available until a primary level or only taught the Koran. In a few decades I was lucky to be born in the UAE, to be educated in its schools, and that was to such a level that I found it easy to continue my studies at Harvard and Oxford. Bravo to the UAE.
Cars were a luxury. In fact they were an oddity. Healthcare was patchy to say the least. Airconditioning was no where to be found. The main airport was in Sharjah (see here http://wikimapia.org/#lat=25.3470415&lon=55.3898048&z=17&l=0&m=s&v=9 King Abdul Aziz Street used to be the runway on the old Sharjah Airport ). Dubai's runway was still new, and was very much a dusty place.
Et cetera, et cetera...
I know this blog has become an old and dusty place too, but I have meant to write this post for some time. Not so much to remember the past, but to voice my condolences perhaps to our present, and to pray to our future, and the future of this country after we leave it for our children.
What have we become now? A nation of fat, slow people. A Nation of smokers. Diabetes and heart disease are so common even though we have amazing and cheap healthcare. We would fight over a parking slot nearest to the mall door when our fathers wouldn't have known what a mall is. We pay millions for a small number plate, even more for a phone number.
So here is what happens in today's UAE. I bet you Sheikh Zayed would not be happy, I know for a fact that Sheikh Rashed would NOT BE HAPPY at all. This is not the UAE he left. I remember the day Sheikh Rashed died like it was yesterday. I felt a deep sense of loss and that was shared by everyone, from the oldest Emarati to the Indian dude that has heard of the UAE and is spending his first few days here, and even the odd palm tree felt sad. Sheikh Rashed, may Allah bless his soul, was the true architect of the union, and many of you young guys do not realise this.
Driving down the roads is not only dangerous, but it makes you liable to being abused and cut against. I had to drive my family to Sharjah yesterday and I was checking my mirror briefly towards the left only to find that the small gap I left between me and the car in front was now occupied by a dumb fuck who took the modest safe distance as an invitation to cut me. I braked suddenly to avoid a collision and the idiot son of an idiot soon changed lanes. This doesn't happen back 20 yrs ago or so... people used to be polite when driving. Here, we've become a nation of speed freaks. You don't buy your car depending on your budget or the utility, but you look at two things.. you look for cars that people will respect and fear you in, and you also look for cars that can be the most agressive (e.g. loud exhaust or blinding high beam). I bet if you stop the random idiot on today's roads they will tell you that the high beams are purely for flashing and overtaking rather than driving at night on unlit streets.
Oh my lord...
What about the workplace? Ok, so we have more women at work, but they are learning the bad habits of men. Answering phones or e-mails here is rare, so you have to actually visit all the places you have business with personally in order to get the service you need.
Speaking about service, why is it normal for someone to cut in front of you when you're trying to ask a salesman something? Why will the new person always get priority? Why do people give priority in situations when they are meeting face to face and then the fone rings and they can't wait to answer it quickly. Of course if they were alone they would just let it ring.
I can go on, but you get the idea.
Is this the UAE that our fathers dreamt of? I bet it isn't the UAE that most expats come to dream of. I know almost all visitors come here thinking they will learn or at least hear some Arabic, but the only Arabic you'll hear is swear words on the street. Let me stay away from our language problems, coz that needs a whole other post!
Past prime concerns were getting enough food and medicine, or even education. Current concerns are getting enough fatty foods and smoke and a good movie to watch when we want. Even exercise has been abused. Gyms now offer free access to a DVD library if you sign up. (pointless?!?!). Most guys go there to check out girls, rather than to work out. What's going on...
We have to properly reassess our future in order to survive and in order to become a quality city and country. We cannot allow ourselves to be led by the whims and fashions of the dumb, rich, and weak. Above all...we must not tolerate the insolence of prosperity.
Almost 39 years ago, our forefathers (I don't mean only genetically) drew out the first sketches of the union of states that is now the United Arab Emirates. Things pretty much went up for us from then. I know because I am a child of such a union as I was born a few years after the union. The federation was a win-win for all the states involved and was the only logical thing for us to do after the British left the region (for now, they have since returned, but this is not the post for that). I might be biased, but out of all the Gulf states, both Arab and Persian, I believe the UAE enjoyed the most benefits from this. The fact that we're starting to be noticed regionally and to an extent internationally is a proud testament of that.
I grew up in an Emirates of needs and wants. We needed so much and let's be honest, we didn't have much. They named one of the main squares in Sharjah the Kuwait Square as a thank you to the people and government of Kuwait for their help to build the UAE Educational system. When they launched Emirates, the first flight was actually to Pakistan back in 1985. Now when we think of Pakistan we think of something stupid and racist or we think of cricket or political instability. Many people still refer to construction works as "Indians". How rude! And if you ask an Emarati grandfather, he will surely refer to the local currency in the UAE as the rupee, even though the UAE Dirham has been in circulation for many many decades. What better testament to how much we owe to our brothers from the Indian subcontinent.
In fact, prosperous families used to send their children to India or Kuwait to be able to finish high school because not so long ago, most schools in the UAE were only available until a primary level or only taught the Koran. In a few decades I was lucky to be born in the UAE, to be educated in its schools, and that was to such a level that I found it easy to continue my studies at Harvard and Oxford. Bravo to the UAE.
Cars were a luxury. In fact they were an oddity. Healthcare was patchy to say the least. Airconditioning was no where to be found. The main airport was in Sharjah (see here http://wikimapia.org/#lat=25.3470415&lon=55.3898048&z=17&l=0&m=s&v=9 King Abdul Aziz Street used to be the runway on the old Sharjah Airport ). Dubai's runway was still new, and was very much a dusty place.
Et cetera, et cetera...
I know this blog has become an old and dusty place too, but I have meant to write this post for some time. Not so much to remember the past, but to voice my condolences perhaps to our present, and to pray to our future, and the future of this country after we leave it for our children.
What have we become now? A nation of fat, slow people. A Nation of smokers. Diabetes and heart disease are so common even though we have amazing and cheap healthcare. We would fight over a parking slot nearest to the mall door when our fathers wouldn't have known what a mall is. We pay millions for a small number plate, even more for a phone number.
So here is what happens in today's UAE. I bet you Sheikh Zayed would not be happy, I know for a fact that Sheikh Rashed would NOT BE HAPPY at all. This is not the UAE he left. I remember the day Sheikh Rashed died like it was yesterday. I felt a deep sense of loss and that was shared by everyone, from the oldest Emarati to the Indian dude that has heard of the UAE and is spending his first few days here, and even the odd palm tree felt sad. Sheikh Rashed, may Allah bless his soul, was the true architect of the union, and many of you young guys do not realise this.
Driving down the roads is not only dangerous, but it makes you liable to being abused and cut against. I had to drive my family to Sharjah yesterday and I was checking my mirror briefly towards the left only to find that the small gap I left between me and the car in front was now occupied by a dumb fuck who took the modest safe distance as an invitation to cut me. I braked suddenly to avoid a collision and the idiot son of an idiot soon changed lanes. This doesn't happen back 20 yrs ago or so... people used to be polite when driving. Here, we've become a nation of speed freaks. You don't buy your car depending on your budget or the utility, but you look at two things.. you look for cars that people will respect and fear you in, and you also look for cars that can be the most agressive (e.g. loud exhaust or blinding high beam). I bet if you stop the random idiot on today's roads they will tell you that the high beams are purely for flashing and overtaking rather than driving at night on unlit streets.
Oh my lord...
What about the workplace? Ok, so we have more women at work, but they are learning the bad habits of men. Answering phones or e-mails here is rare, so you have to actually visit all the places you have business with personally in order to get the service you need.
Speaking about service, why is it normal for someone to cut in front of you when you're trying to ask a salesman something? Why will the new person always get priority? Why do people give priority in situations when they are meeting face to face and then the fone rings and they can't wait to answer it quickly. Of course if they were alone they would just let it ring.
I can go on, but you get the idea.
Is this the UAE that our fathers dreamt of? I bet it isn't the UAE that most expats come to dream of. I know almost all visitors come here thinking they will learn or at least hear some Arabic, but the only Arabic you'll hear is swear words on the street. Let me stay away from our language problems, coz that needs a whole other post!
Past prime concerns were getting enough food and medicine, or even education. Current concerns are getting enough fatty foods and smoke and a good movie to watch when we want. Even exercise has been abused. Gyms now offer free access to a DVD library if you sign up. (pointless?!?!). Most guys go there to check out girls, rather than to work out. What's going on...
We have to properly reassess our future in order to survive and in order to become a quality city and country. We cannot allow ourselves to be led by the whims and fashions of the dumb, rich, and weak. Above all...we must not tolerate the insolence of prosperity.
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Emarat runs out of petrol - burn me!
So it's been a while since I wrote, and that's because of a noticeable lack of interest in the topics gracing our lives. So please excuse my absence. However, yesterday (15/9/2010) a few weird things happened that demand to be mentioned.
First of all, my car needed to be filled with petrol so badly, the fuel indicator dipped below the zero indicator. So when I finished from my teeth-grinding boring meetings I pulled into Enoc (one of the 4 petrol providers in UAE) to fill up with regular gasoline (Special grade 95 RON Octane). The attendant told me that they are running dry and they have only Super 98 and Diesel. So I requested a full tank of Super 98 (which I believe is superior on long distance journeys). Before I could say "twitter" the tank was filled up because motorists refused to pay more to fill up with better quality petrol. Typical.
The attendant told me that they have problems with supplying fuel. Thanks ENOC.
Today I read in the papers that Emarat (another one of the basteurd petrol sellers) have run out of petrol due to technical problems with the supply chain, and they also mention financial problems with loans etc that won't be fixed until they can charge market prices and drop the state-sponsored price-system.
Read more here:
http://gulfnews.com/business/oil-gas/emarat-running-out-of-petrol-1.682789
"Emarat is finding it difficult to get bank loans to enable it continue to sell petrol below cost, so it's trying to ration the limited quantity of gasoline it has. The company is incurring a daily loss of about Dh2 million due to the subsidy on the fuel and compensation from other businesses such as convenience stores isn't enough to cover the losses," an Emarat source told Gulf News. "This problem will continue until the government frees petrol prices," he added.
DAMN YOU "Emarat source"!!!!!!
http://www.emirates247.com/news/emirates/fuel-supply-shortage-in-emarat-petrol-stations-2010-09-16-1.291413
The Emarat petrol distribution company announced that some of its 200 stations in Dubai and Northern Emirates are facing supply shortage of fuel (special Benzene). The company spokesperson told Al Bayan that “the shortage is due to technical issues related to the process of unloading cargo from ships to tanks in Jebel Ali". Khalid Hadi, Director of Information and Marketing of Enoc said, "All fuel stations of Enoc and Epco is functioning normally and is able to provide various types of fuel without any problems."
Not only dues Emirates 24-7 above show an ENOC picture when they are talking about Emarat problems, but they mention a very interesting point made by Mr Khalid Hadi, Director of Information (you can direct fictional movies, but can you direct information?!) that Enoc is not having "any problems".
OK. Sir.
What about the Enoc station site 1088, terminal ID 00108803, on Oud Metha Road that was empty of cars yesterday because you couldn't supply petrol to it cheap enough that people will buy it?
Also are we dumb enough to believe that in a country that can build the tallest building in the world, and the widest motorways, and the best airline that you cannot deliver fuel? Don't take us for stupid people please. It's like when Bush and Bliar (sic) convinced us that our security was threatened by Iraq and we HAD to invade and kill the innocent to protect the innocent.
Yeah right.
Also, ironic that the shortage came exactly 2 years after the collapse of Lehman Brothers (my screen shot of the bbc webpage from 2008 is attached).
However, seems not only the UAE is suffering from greed and stupidity. Pakistan, the only Muslim nuclear power is unable to supply its citizens with machine-readable passports in the UAE because they are only printed in Pakistan.
Please, please, when will the stupidity end?!
Salam
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Losing battle for hearts - opinion
The following is an article in the Opinion pages of Gulf News/Guardian:
http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/losing-battle-for-hearts-1.680575
It sums up this mess we live in very nicely. Happy Eid everyone.
....
In the US, a crackpot pastor threatened to burn copies of the Quran and finally cancelled his plan yesterday after appeals from the president, the secretary-general of the UN, and Angelina Jolie. In Afghanistan, five US soldiers are charged with murdering civilians at random and collecting their fingers as souvenirs, while Nato troops open fire on protests against the pastor's plans.
In Britain, the normally hawkish International Institute for Strategic Studies says the threat from Al Qaida and the Taliban has been exaggerated, and warns that the war in Afghanistan risks becoming a "long, drawn-out disaster".
Meanwhile, Tony Blair cancels two appearances in London to publicise his memoirs after anti-war protesters pelt him with eggs and shoes in Dublin.
Welcome to the world of the ‘war on terror', on the ninth anniversary of 9/11. It is a world more divided, fearful and conflict-ridden than a decade ago.
"We need to win not just the military action, but to win people's minds," Tony Blair told CNN in November 2001, at the height of the Anglo-American bombing of Afghanistan. But the struggle for Muslim hearts and minds was allowed to morph into a seeming war on Muslims. The ‘war on terror' has resulted only in more war and more terror.
It all seemed so different in 2001. The mayor of Tehran called his counterpart in New York to offer his condolences, as Iranians held candle-lit vigils in solidarity with grieving Americans. Palestinians lined up to donate blood to the survivors of the attacks. Islamic scholars and clerics across the Middle East denounced the murderous barbarism of Al Qaida. Polls showed that vast numbers of hearts, minds and souls in the Muslim world were with the West.
But along came Guantanamo Bay, the catastrophic and illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003, photos of prisoner abuse in Abu Ghraib in 2004, and allegations of torture and murder at the US air base in Bagram, Afghanistan, in 2005.
By 2006, Muslims across the globe were horrified and radicalised by the Israeli bombardment of Lebanon, conducted with the blessing of Blair and his partner in crime, George W. Bush.
The ‘hearts and minds' brigade had to beat a humiliating retreat.
Hopes were raised again in 2008, with the election of Barack Obama, with a Muslim middle name and an African heritage. In his first six months in office, Obama declared that "the US is not and will never be at war with Islam"; in a speech in Cairo he symbolically "reset" relations with Muslim communities.
But Guantanamo is still open for business, and the president's demand that the Israelis ‘freeze' illegal colonies has fallen on deaf ears. The war on terror has been ramped up in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, and the Horn of Africa. The deaths of US soldiers in Afghanistan and Pakistani civilians in US air strikes have increased on Obama's watch.
On Thursday, the US President said Pastor Jones' plans to burn the Quran would be a "recruiting bonanza" for Al Qaida. Yet he fails to recognise how the West's war in Afghanistan provides a similar boost to extremists — on both sides.
The "enemy" in Afghanistan, concluded the IISS report released last week, is "incentivised by the presence of foreign forces". And inside the US the likes of Jones and right-wing Republican bigots, frothing at the mouth over the ‘Ground Zero mosque' take their cue from aggressive leaders like Blair, Bush and Obama — who send more and more troops to fight and die abroad, in faraway Muslim countries, while denying any link between militancy and western foreign policies.
Whether the swivel-eyed priest goes ahead with his plan to immolate Islam's holiest book is, ultimately, irrelevant.
The battle for hearts and minds was lost long ago.
Mehdi Hasan is senior editor (politics) at the New Statesman.
http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/losing-battle-for-hearts-1.680575
It sums up this mess we live in very nicely. Happy Eid everyone.
....
In the US, a crackpot pastor threatened to burn copies of the Quran and finally cancelled his plan yesterday after appeals from the president, the secretary-general of the UN, and Angelina Jolie. In Afghanistan, five US soldiers are charged with murdering civilians at random and collecting their fingers as souvenirs, while Nato troops open fire on protests against the pastor's plans.
In Britain, the normally hawkish International Institute for Strategic Studies says the threat from Al Qaida and the Taliban has been exaggerated, and warns that the war in Afghanistan risks becoming a "long, drawn-out disaster".
Meanwhile, Tony Blair cancels two appearances in London to publicise his memoirs after anti-war protesters pelt him with eggs and shoes in Dublin.
Welcome to the world of the ‘war on terror', on the ninth anniversary of 9/11. It is a world more divided, fearful and conflict-ridden than a decade ago.
"We need to win not just the military action, but to win people's minds," Tony Blair told CNN in November 2001, at the height of the Anglo-American bombing of Afghanistan. But the struggle for Muslim hearts and minds was allowed to morph into a seeming war on Muslims. The ‘war on terror' has resulted only in more war and more terror.
It all seemed so different in 2001. The mayor of Tehran called his counterpart in New York to offer his condolences, as Iranians held candle-lit vigils in solidarity with grieving Americans. Palestinians lined up to donate blood to the survivors of the attacks. Islamic scholars and clerics across the Middle East denounced the murderous barbarism of Al Qaida. Polls showed that vast numbers of hearts, minds and souls in the Muslim world were with the West.
But along came Guantanamo Bay, the catastrophic and illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003, photos of prisoner abuse in Abu Ghraib in 2004, and allegations of torture and murder at the US air base in Bagram, Afghanistan, in 2005.
By 2006, Muslims across the globe were horrified and radicalised by the Israeli bombardment of Lebanon, conducted with the blessing of Blair and his partner in crime, George W. Bush.
The ‘hearts and minds' brigade had to beat a humiliating retreat.
Hopes were raised again in 2008, with the election of Barack Obama, with a Muslim middle name and an African heritage. In his first six months in office, Obama declared that "the US is not and will never be at war with Islam"; in a speech in Cairo he symbolically "reset" relations with Muslim communities.
But Guantanamo is still open for business, and the president's demand that the Israelis ‘freeze' illegal colonies has fallen on deaf ears. The war on terror has been ramped up in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, and the Horn of Africa. The deaths of US soldiers in Afghanistan and Pakistani civilians in US air strikes have increased on Obama's watch.
On Thursday, the US President said Pastor Jones' plans to burn the Quran would be a "recruiting bonanza" for Al Qaida. Yet he fails to recognise how the West's war in Afghanistan provides a similar boost to extremists — on both sides.
The "enemy" in Afghanistan, concluded the IISS report released last week, is "incentivised by the presence of foreign forces". And inside the US the likes of Jones and right-wing Republican bigots, frothing at the mouth over the ‘Ground Zero mosque' take their cue from aggressive leaders like Blair, Bush and Obama — who send more and more troops to fight and die abroad, in faraway Muslim countries, while denying any link between militancy and western foreign policies.
Whether the swivel-eyed priest goes ahead with his plan to immolate Islam's holiest book is, ultimately, irrelevant.
The battle for hearts and minds was lost long ago.
Mehdi Hasan is senior editor (politics) at the New Statesman.
Friday, 6 August 2010
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